PUTIN WANTS TO HAVE FRESH TALKS WITH OBAMA OVER SYRIA

WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES.........................

BARRY IS VLADS BITCH

RUSSIAN PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN SPEAKS ‘DIRECTLY TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE’ ON SYRIA, JABS OBAMA  

BARRY ALMOST CALLED UP

The vote in the House of Commons dismissing even the principle of going to war in Syria has been ratified today by Britain’s last remaining soldier, Barry. 
The only armed infantryman available to the Ministry of Defence after the latest round of defence cuts, Barry had been preparing to travel to the war torn region as the vote was announced and had already booked his flight. But, embarrassingly for Cameron, and the ‘special relationship’ with the US, Barry has decided that he will now spend the weekend playing golf instead.
Cameron had hoped to send a strong, clear signal to Assad by deploying Barry and was keen for him to stand ‘shoulder to shoulder’ with at least one of the shoulders of the many hundreds of thousands of big powerful shoulders belonging to the US troops. Cameron had maintained how important it is for the UK to ‘punch above its weight’ in international affairs, and had provided Barry with the latest equipment for the difficult mission. His rapid fire NERF gun was due to arrive from Argos just hours before his scheduled departure. The order has now been cancelled, and Barry will get a full refund. He was still keen to keep the four-slice toaster though, which he’d ordered at the same time.
Barry is philosophical about the turn of events: ‘I’ve trained for this all week and missed out on a BBQ last weekend. I was ready to give the Syrian regime a bloody nose. I’m proud to be in the Army; in fact, I’m proud to be the Army. I only hope the US won’t find it tougher now without my logistical support. They’ll just have to muddle through alone’.
The Pentagon was urgently adjusting its approach for the assault on Syria, and is now relying on its contingency plans for battle. It had prepared these plans in advance in anticipation of the UK parliament voting against the action, or in the event that Barry pulled a sickie.
US military planners are dismayed at not having the UK at its side, in contrast with the last few campaigns. In a further set-back, they will now have to fight alongside the French. President Hollande announced that he’d managed to find six soldiers who were ready for action, although they would only be ready sometime in mid September when they’d returned from their holidays in the Dordogne. It was uncertain whether the US plans could go ahead until this strong coalition of willing forces was ready, or whether it could succeed without Barry, or even his French counterparts.
Mr Cameron announced that he’d probably be heading back to Cornwall to finish his holiday as he felt he’d done his bit, and there was nothing more he could do. He added that if it wasn’t exactly his finest hour, then ‘it was, at least, only an hour.’

NAVY AND ARMY DISCUSS SYRIA

THE RAF ARE TWIDDLING THEIR THUMBS

WHY DID CAMERON SELL CHEMICALS TO ASSAD?

   CAMERON SOLD NERVE GAS TO SYRIA

THE RAF HAVE TO DITCH THEIR NEW RECRUITMENT POSTER

DAVID CAMERON DECIDES TO GO IT ALONE WITH STRIKE ON SYRIA

WILLY WONKA GIVES A PRESS CONFERENCE ON SYRIA

Lynton Crosby: You need to come back from holiday, Dave.

Cameron: Why? My sunburn isn't that bad.

Crosby: Obama wants to launch a missile strike against Syria and wonders if we want to join in.

Cameron: Sounds a good plan. But can't I just press all the buttons from here in Cornwall? Boom! Bang!

Most MPs: We would actually quite like to be consulted and have a vote before taking any military action.

Cameron: Well, I think it's time to say enough is enough to Assad. I don't mind a dictator indiscriminately killing his own people with conventional weapons while I sit by and do nothing, but to let him do it using chemical weapons is just too much.

Most MPs: So then what happens?

Cameron: We will just fire one missile at Damascus.

Most MPs: How do we know we won't kill innocent people?

Cameron: Because Barry tells me it's a very special missile that only kills guilty people.

Most MPs: We think you're fibbing. We think you could be about to get hopelessly out of your depth by escalating an already messy situation in the Middle East and that, before you know it, Saudi Arabia, Iran and Russia will be more involved than they are already, and we'll be fighting another war we can't win.

Cameron: So what? I want to be a statesman. I want everyone in the world to see me doing something big and clever on TV.

Clegg: Me too.

Cameron: No one's interested in you.

Most MPs: Well, we don't care what you think. We want to be recalled.

Milidee: If I may say so, I am a tiny bit nervous about military action, but I don't want to look too much of a wetty by ruling it out entirely.

Gove: You are the worst Labour leader since Neil Kinnock.

Everyone: Funny you should mention that, because you're the worst education secretary since Margaret Thatcher.

Cameron: OK, OK. I'll come back from Cornwall.

Blair: Hi Dave! Speaking, very modestly, as the best ever PM, let me offer some advice. Just tell parliament that Assad has WMD and they'll happily vote for war ...

Cameron: And if I do that ...

Blair: You'll never need to take another holiday in the UK. You'll have a permanent invite to any billionaire's luxury yacht in the Med.

 HT/ Guardian   

MESSAGE FROM THE BRITISH PUBLIC TO DAVID CAMERON

David Cameron has always idolised his Hero Tony Blair and wants `his` War in the middle east, he will launch his War against Syria with his own WMD lies.

SYRIAN REBELS SEND MESSAGE TO WILLIAM HAGUE

 SYRIAN REBEL EATS SOLDIRS HEART

British troops with chemical warfare kits head to Syrian doorstep

David Cameron loves the phrase “Chemical weapons”, does it remind you of someone else? Tony Blair maybe. The former Prime Minister and War criminal kept repeating this mantra to scare the British public into believing that a scud missile would land on their heads holding lots of nasty stuff that would wipe us all out. The problem is we don’t learn from our mistakes it seems. Roll the clock back to when the Russians were involved in their own folly in Afghanistan, we and the Americans were on the side of the Rebels, you see when you agree with them you call them rebels, not cold blooded Islamist murderers who have beheaded and even cut out the hearts of Syrian soldiers and eaten their hearts. Those rebels fighting the Russians ended up being called the Taliban, well you know the rest don’t you? it’s a civil War in Syria we and the West have no right to get involved, we didn't like it when Colonel Gaddafi was supplying the IRA with weapons and rightly so. The left wing politician called Cameron who’s wife is also a Marxist is following another Marxist leader Obama and after sacking thousands of British troops is now become involved in the  Syrian conflict  this terrible politician who has destroyed the conservative party and the Lib Dems (Not that I’m bothered) is massacring the British army, but so wants his own Blair moment. The analogy I use is call your own street Syria, at one end of the street is a household full of drug dealing gangsters, at the other end is another equally bad family of drug dealers and gangsters, they have been attacking each other and making the street a War zone. How should you respond to the situation? Well, you could leave them to kill each other or you could give them both more weapons and cash, well you can choose which family you think the more blood thirsty. This approach is madness and so is our approach to Syria, the more weapons we give to the murderers, sorry `Rebels` the more Russia and China will give the Assad regime. The truth is a couldn't care less if they wipe each other from the face of the earth, but if I had to choose one side I would choose Assad, because he is fighting extremist Islamic fighters, like the Taliban and Al Queada. Far too much British blood has been spilt in foreign wars. If Cameron wants to get involved then I suggest he gets on a plane and picks up a rifle, something he knows nothing about.

Syrian army tank footage shows 'soldier's eye view' - video

The footage, shot by Russian news agency the Abkhazian Network News Agency (ANNA), purports to show a government tank patrolling the streets of Darya, Damascus.

This looks like a play station game but its very real, no doubt this is a brutal civil War but it has nothing to do with Great Britain, we should learn our lesson from Iraq and stay well away.

AL QAIDA THANKS DAVID CAMERON FOR BRITISH TAX PAYERS MONEY TO FUND JIHAD

Al-Qaida turns tide for rebels in battle for eastern Syria Read More
 HERE



Prime Minister David Cameron indicated that Britain is ready to step up its support for the Syrian opposition and warned that "nothing is off the table" in the effort to speed the transition of power in the Middle Eastern country Read More HERE



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