I’m screaming in silence its deafening me
You cannot hear me yet your talking to me
I see your lips moving and the blink of your eyes
Its just a blur and a buzzing like a corpse full of flies
In this bubble of pain I cannot escape
Your smiling at me now my smile back a fake
I want to run but I’m glued to my seat
Sweating and shaking and tapping my feet
A pain in my chest and my mouth bone dry
I grin and I nod but I just want to cry
Pull yourself together I hear some say
But I’m stuck in 1982 on a cold sunny day
I’m no longer a soldier but my mind disagrees
It keeps sending me back to those terrible seas
You finish your talk and then smile and leave
Leave me back in my bubble with the dead that I grieve.
© Tony McNally
I have just written this poem to try to describe how a PTSD sufferer may feel when they are talking to a person who has no idea what’s going on in their minds and pretends everything is ok. Like many servicemen they try to mask their problems.
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