When I was a
child I looked at policeman and thought they must a be good people, same as when
I watched the trooping of the colour on the TV and saw the smart guardsman
outside the Palace. I have now grown up, well some might disagree and I now
know the truth, like the police the Armed Forces is a microcosm of the real
world, there is the whole plethora of individuals from pedophiles to drug
dealers, all manner of criminals, just the other day I was told about a soldier
that I served with that had sex with a dog (Four legged version) this was an
individual that I was considering going to a Regimental reunion with not that
long ago. Don’t get me wrong I’m no angel but there is nothing I have done in
my life that I am ashamed of. The other side of the coin like in society there
are many good lads who I would be honoured to call my friend.
I have done a great deal of thinking after
coming out of hospital after my suicide attempt and one thing is how the
internet can also be used for good and bad. I do not disagree that it has revolutionised
the way we as a society connect and put people together who would not normally
have met prior to the www. Facebook is probably the main platform for interaction
and the forming of certain groups can be a good thing. It’s strange how we can
have `friends` on Facebook that we have never actually physically met, I am no different
on that one. Obviously these are my
thoughts and conclusions which you may not agree with? I fell into the trap of
thinking that a web page with some people I have met in the real world that I
used to work with and some `cyber` former colleagues was the definitive 12
Regiment Royal Artillery. It’s not my wife’s fault but when I was in hospital
she reached out to people that were connected to me due to the Regiment in all
good faith well why wouldn’t she? Being a civilian herself she will have believed
they were all good lads with my best interests at heart. For the first time I
really did try to make an effort to become closer to the former soldiers I
served with through the Facebook group. One or two senior ranks (Sergeants and
above) ignored my friend requests, I did not let that put me off and tried to
contribute with relevant posts pertaining to Air Defence and the Royal Artillery.
I soon noticed that hardly anyone clicked `like` on anything I wrote, but still
I gave them the benefit of the doubt, it was only when I noticed that certain
people could put a post of their breakfast on and get a huge response that I
was not so paranoid. I reasoned it was because I had written books and maybe
some of them didn’t like what I had written, even though everything I wrote was
true. Over the years I have tried to analyse why the interaction is so different
with the Gunners and NCOs in the 12 Regt of my era opposed to the what I see as
amazing comradeship and brotherhood seen with Paratroopers and Royal Marines
that I served alongside in the Falklands War. As I see it we were `soldiers` in
name only, most of the time spent around camp was spent cleaning, sweeping
leaves, cookhouse Fatigues (Scrubbing pots & pans) painting the curb stones
black & white, being a waiter to the officers and more annoyingly the wives
of soldiers that because they were married to a sergeant thought they were Royalty
when they came from some shit hole of a council estate in Preston or Warrington
or Glasgow and showed it at the end of the night when they were drunk and
reverted to their true nature. But they looked at us like their personal slaves
bringing them drink and food all night. This is how the Senor NCOs looked at us
as well just skivvies to run around after them. I spent most of my army career
in green overalls brushing up leaves, it was so depressing that I actually volunteered
to go to Northern Ireland to get away from it all.
So when you
join the Regimental Facebook group if you were not part of the `Legends` the
Senior NCOS you were still in their eyes anyway a worthless gunner and they
treat you the same even though thirty plus years have gone by. But I have now
realized that Facebook group is not the real 12 Regiment it’s just a collection
of electronic noise and like them not liking me or being indifferent I don’t have
to be part of it, the same as I don’t have to go to a Regimental Reunion, which
by all accounts is just the same as it always was in the army, the Gunners and
maybe the odd Lance Bombardier sat on a table and then the groups of the `clique` sat looking
down on the Gunners, which ironically some of them have achieved much more in
life than those bullying, thieves with stripes on their arms have now.
I wish it
was not like this, but I am not the only one that thinks like this, I am only
reporting on how others have described these Reunions, some drunk out of their
skulls at 11 am pissing in the streets and fighting, these are not twenty
something young men letting off steam. There was a lad from the Regiment that
shot himself with an SA80, he survived and was like myself trying to get back
in touch with old comrades, he was told by some of the usual suspects that he
was not welcome and that he had shamed the Regiment. Well that’s rich coming
from people that treated other soldiers like shit and stole people’s wallets,
cash and personal effects from their lockers, liar’s cheats, thieves and
bullies are welcome but not an ex-soldier that is looking for support from
people he thought would understand and be sympathetic as to why he wanted to
kill himself. I obviously cannot talk for other Regiments ships, Squadrons, ect…
I would like to think and hope they are better than this?
I have never
been part of the establishment never been part of their `clique`, it was never
in the script for the young soldier who liked to have fun and listen to Punk
music to shoot down two enemy jets in the Falkland’s, it was always hoped that
one of the `arse lickers` would do that and be rewarded. But once again I know
I was only doing my job, but I and many others were never encouraged or praised
by the NCOS, it was always shouted insults and more cleaning.
I did not
just serve with the Royal Artillery and I was pleasantly surprised at how other
units treated their soldiers, like the 2nd Battalion the Light
Infantry, and the Infantry Regiment I served with myself as an NCO, the 4th
Battalion the Kings Own Royal Border Regiment, they encouraged you in all your
efforts and rewarded hard work. I also have praise for 74 Battery the Battle
axe company RA, who I served with in Northern Ireland, great bunch of Gunners
that I am truly honoured to have served with on active service. That’s why I am
still proud to be a Gunner, regardless of 12 Regiment a
Regiment that is also my Regiment my memories and my good times that the
bullies can’t take away and also that Facebook has a delete switch….UBIQUE.
